It seems my psychiatric mediation is making me tired and withdrawn because I don't really have the illness with which I am diagnosed.

I go to bed when there's nothing to do.  I'm not good enough at violin to be a major at a conservatory.  There's nothing good for me to do.  I am not used to repetitive labor, neither, so cannot do it.


One thing I did was say I can at least feel good about myself no matter where I end up, so to work on that.  However, I keep getting problems from being monitored in private and involving other people and from how the Orlando / Central Florida area reacts to me.  I feel more tired and fat.